Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
