My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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