smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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