Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
My pussy is not your playground.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
