No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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