thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
