Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
