she is the kim kardashian of front butts
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
