so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
