i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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