btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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