That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
