Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
