You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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