oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
