dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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