can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
