New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
are you so shy because you have an std?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
