she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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