R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
