Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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