Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
