maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
