hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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