And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize