The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
