I heard we made out
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
