I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
