I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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