TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
