bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
