i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
