i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
you made out with another girl for some wings
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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