real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
