so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
