In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
