no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
be right there i have to get my cape
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize