I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Me. At least after what I've been through.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize