saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
