i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Screwed.edu
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
