she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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