I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
