yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
