Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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