It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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