Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
