she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize