It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
