I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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