Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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