I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
