Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
