We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
