I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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