So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
