is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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