Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
