I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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