He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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