Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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