Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
