Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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