This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
We named our party play list daddy issues
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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