if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
