Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I need a beard to bite.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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